Hej – and welcome to your weekly ScandiKitchen lesson.
Ever wanted to be Norwegian? You’re not alone – there are many Norgesvenner out there, just like you. Here’s a handy guide on how to be Norwegian.
Every week, we give a little lesson on how to be a bit more Scandinavian in your everyday life. If you’d like the full-length version of these lessons direct into your inbox every Friday morning, simply click here to sign up.
Own ALL the flags
You must own multiples. Cupboards full. Buy more every season and remember to stick little flags in your food, too. You can never have enough Norwegian flags.
Never mind Swedes
Swedes will never be better than Norway at anything. Ever. At least, never admit it. Especially not better at skiing (and if they are, then it’s likely a smørekrise (ski prep issue) – lit: lubrication crisis).
All the hikes
Go for a hike (ut på tur, literally out on tour) every weekend, ideally somewhere hilly. Going for walks without a fixed purpose is key. Also, only smilers allowed: you must never be angry on a hike.
Socially polite
Avoid looking directly at your fellow citizens in all urban areas, including pavements, public transport and queues. But remember to say ‘Hei hei’ (hello) to everyone when hiking.
The jacket
Own at least one allværsjakke (all-weather jacket). A plus point if it’s brightly coloured, so that you can be seen from the moon. Add a practical rucksack, ideally containing one orange.
The sanctuary
Every weekend and holiday, go to a hytte (cabin). Any cabin. The more remote/primitive the better. A garden shed can be a replacement if you’re doing this in London. It’s called hyttetur (cabin tour).
Taco time
On Fridays, you eat Tacos. No need to question this: You’re Norwegian now, and real Norwegians eat Tacos (on Fridays, remember).
Sausages
There’s a pølse (sausage) for all occasions. On the train? Pølse time. Airport? Pølse. Football? Have a pølse. Celebrating the Constitution? Pølse.
Waffles
Eat warm waffles with brown goat’s cheese at least once a week. When you get sick of waffles, pølse. Wrap it in a waffle, even.
Brown cheese
The food of the gods, the cheese of the people. Made from goat’s milk, looks like brown plastacine and tastes of caramel. You put it on waffles. What’s not to love?
The look
Wear cool jumpers with great conviction. Perfect for occasions such as being in temperatures of -20, Eurovision, fishing and crossing the border to Sweden for alcohol. Caution: Itchy.
The Bunad
It’s Extra-Norwegian to own a Bunad (national dress). Made from wool (itchy), it’s heavy and costs the same as a small car. Will keep you warm should it snow on 17th May.
