How to survive in the Arctic climate

Posted by | Fun stuff

Arctic means -40 degrees and below. Which is a bit like London at the moment, we realise, so we thought us Scandies would pass on a few tips to all of you who are fighting for survival

Survive the cold weather in London

1. Wear gloves and scarves and don’t forget to zip up your jacket. Choose bigger underpants.

2. Layering of clothes is essential and by layering, we don’t mean wearing 4 pairs of socks squeezed into a pair of ballet pumps. You need AIR between the layers to stay warm. Lose layers, thermal material.

3. Most Arctic survival guides remind you to carry weapons when roaming about the nature in case you encounter polar bears. While we do not think polar bears have arrived in London yet, we have heard that some people are carrying weapons in Dalston. Perhaps this means there are polar bears in Dalton and surrounding areas: we advise to avoid.

4. Don’t talk too much. It uses too much energy. In some part of Northern Sweden people just grunt instead of saying yes and no. Preserve the energy by staying calm and quiet so you can shout even louder at the check in desk at Heathrow if you need to.

5. Eat high-calorie foods to keep you padded. Quality Street is possibly your most important source of nutrition during this tough period of London hardship.

6. Make some loving happen. Body heat is a most excellent source of keeping warm when faced with arctic conditions.

7. To clear snow and ice from your drive way, we absolutely do NOT recommend pouring boiling water on it (as one lady suggested) and you do not need to use Maldon Sea Salt for your drive way: normal grit salt will do. You know who you are, Mr. West London Man whom we saw do this yesterday. Shame on you.

8. Despite the pipework in English houses being of such high standard, we will just maybe mention that a slight trickle of water, even a drip, can prevent pipes from freezing.

9. Keep your livestock with you – it increases the body heat in the house. So, that’s both Fluffy, the pussycat, the mice and Auntie Agnes.

10. Minimise all travel. BAA is currently kindly helping you to do so – aren’t they nice?

Stay warm


The Kitchen People x


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