Things ex-pat Scandinavians often say to their new friends…
“Where do I put my shoes?”
We automatically remove our shoes when we go to your house and expect you to have a place for us to store them as we parade around your house in our socks. At least, we ask if we should remove shoes (If we don’t ask, it means we’ve been here for a while).
“You call this snow?”
At the sign of a snowflake, wait for those stories: ‘this isn’t snow! When I lived in….’
“Everything of ours in just…. better”.
…And we’ll tell you. “Oh such lovely crisps…. we have those, too, except ours have dill on them and they are better. Great Kitkat! But we have Kvikklunsj, it’s better”.
Even our guys are better – especially if you photoshop Semlor bun onto their boobs. “Semlor? Oh, they are like Scandi cream buns. Only better.”
Over-sharing.
At the board meeting, The Swedish man will stand up, right in the middle of the discussion about the upcoming budget discussion and announce ‘I need to pee!’
Peculiar traditions
“Oh, it’s 3 pm on Christmas Eve. Let’s watch Donald Duck Show on telly”. Every year. Same show.
Caffination
“Ah, what a lovely evening. It’s only, 10:30 pm, shall we have some really strong filter coffee and be all cosy together?”
(You may wonder about this later in when you are awake at 3 am, feeling your veins pump to the beat of Jingle Bells)
Dubious love of EuroPop
“Do you want to come over to my house and watch Eurovision” (or the Swedish pre-Eurovision regional heats that takes place every.single.Saturday in January and February)
You can’t handle the truth.
We will answer truthfully. Especially when asked the question ‘how are you’. “Well, you see, my knee has been playing up and I’m not so happy about that. I should have it seen to. Maybe I will. My aunt is visiting next week, she’s nice. Did I tell you I’m going to paint my fence white?”
You: Just say ‘fine’, just say ‘fine; just say ‘fine’….
A love of space food
“Would you like some strange looking cheese, meat, fish eggs (etc) that I am about to squirt into your plate from a metal tube?”
What else do we say? Add to the comments below.
Love,
The Kitchen People x
