September 17, 2015 | 22 Comments
Stuff Scandinavians abroad get asked all the time
Look, we know that we come from a place where the elk roam free and everybody speaks hurdy gurdy. You’d be surprised, we really DO get asked these questions.
Here’s a list we compiled with the help of our Twitter and Facebook followers this week…
Stuff people sometimes ask Scandinavians abroad:
Are you cold? But you’re from Scandinavia!
Yes, we have feelings, too. We get cold, warm… the whole package.
Ah, you’re Danish… Can you help me translate this thing from Estonian?
Swedish, Danish and Norwegian are similar. That’s it.
But you’re a brunette, you can’t be Swedish!
Hmm… You’d be surprised. We come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
You have beaches, really?
Surprisingly so, yes.
Do you have polar bears where you come from?
Yes, we do. Roaming the streets. All over Oslo and Stockholm. And penguins, too.
Do you ski to work?
Only on Wednesdays.
You’re from Denmark? Do you know Per Jensen? He’s from Odense.
Surprisingly, we don’t all know each other, we five million Danes.
Do you go home to Holland/Switzerland a lot?
People from Holland and Switzerland probably do, yes. We tend to go back to Scandinavia, though. Why do you keep confusing Sweden with Switzerland? It’s not even anywhere near each other. And Holland is no where near Denmark.
So, Norway is not part of Europe, then?
Eh, yes, it is. Not part of the EU, but we’re still part of Europe. Geddit?
Sweden? Is it true you all walk around naked?
You got it wrong: We are not worried about nudity. It’s a body. that’s it. It’s no big deal. But walk around naked? Only at home. And in the Sauna. And on the beach.
Why are you so short, if you’re from Scandinavia?
Because my parents offended the trolls?
You’re from Denmark! I can speak a bit of Dutch.
Good, that’s nice, you can teach me. Because I don’t. I speak Danish.
How’s the snow at this time of the year? (in August).
Because it doesn’t. We’re Scandinavia, not the North pole.
Do you yodel where you are from?
Of course we do. We also wear lederhosen. Really? Yodelling?
Do you have mobile service in Norway?
No, and we also still use dial-up. Wait, we have internet?
Does the sun ever shine?
No, never. We live in complete darkness.
Do you know ABBA, like, personally?
As well as we know Per Jensen from Odense.
Why do you sound so ENGLISH?
Because someone in your country made a show called Midsomer Murders and we’ve been forced to watch it for 15 years in our own country. that, and Monty Python. So, thanks for that.
It must be strange having 6 months of constant night and 6months of constant day…?
No, no, no. For a month in the summer and a month in the winter it doesn’t get really light or really dark. Up north only.
Why do your doors open outwards?
Hmmm… This is a tricky one. We may ask you the same: Why do your front doors open inwards? But why? Your hallways would be useful and your rooms bigger… Truth is, we’re not quite sure. Maybe it’s because of the snow.
What do you eat in Scandinavia?
We eat people who ask stupid questions for breakfast.
Feel free to add your own in the comments.